The case studies below represent some of the ways EFT & Life Coaching has helped present and past clients. For privacy issues the names have been changed and I’ve summarised some of main issues addressed.
It’s important to note that no two sessions are alike. The client is always in control and generally we follow the clues offered by the client’s subconscious mind. I present a brief summary of each case as a moment by moment account of any session would need rather more detail than is practical here. These case summaries are intended to offer you a flavour of how a session might progress. You can think of them as snapshots of a more involved process.
A Painful Breakup
Barry came to me after a painful breakup with his partner who suddenly ended their relationship after 10 years together. They first met at university and had been together ever since. Barry is unable to comes to terms with the end of his relationship and feels he cannot move on with his career. He reports a lack of energy and motivation, which is very understandable given the nature of his loss.
During our sessions it emerges that his mind is making connections with his parent’s divorce. He accesses a lot of anger towards his mother. As the anger clears deep feelings of loss surface. He moves through loss and into feeling of humiliation and powerlessness. As we we use EFT to clear the emotions he begins to access a clearer view of his present situation. Although he still misses his partner it’s easier for him to acknowledge the limitations of their relationship. His energy returns and in a follow up call he is happy that he is moving on and making changes in his life and career.
Wearing A Mask
Sarah is self employed and cannot bring herself to raise her client fees. Although very successful in her chosen career she feels she lacks self confidence and feels like she is hiding her true self and ‘wearing a mask’. As we work together she remembers a incident from childhood in which she won a school beauty contest. The other girls were older than her and her winning not only caused a lot of jealousy amongst them but also attracted some ‘confusing’ attention from older boys. As we work through the emotions associated with memories of winning the contest she becomes calmer and more self accepting. In a follow up call she reports that she attended a social event and for the first time in years felt comfortable to be herself. She also found the confidence to increase her fees.
Intimidated At Work
Stacey had recently moved into a middle management role with a new company. Many of her co-workers are younger than her and in her words “high flyers”. She felt intimidated by some of the people she line managed and felt, that everyone else she worked with, had “perfect lives”. This is a common misperception that you may recognise yourself. As we work through the issue Stacey’s perspective shifts and she connects with her own desire to be perfect. She is able to emotionally connect with the human truth that we all struggle from time to time. She is able to be kinder and more forgiving towards herself. This has positive effects at work as she is less intimidated by work colleagues and reports feeling more comfortable in her management role.
I’ve Got To Be Perfect
‘I’ve got to be perfect to feel okay’, is probably one of the most commonly reoccurring themes I see in my private practice. The anxiety caused by unrealistic expectations of perfection is, in my experience, such a common cause of unhappiness in both men and women that it deserves a special mention. EFT is wonderfully effective in helping clients to connect with the emotional truth that the achievement of perfection in every area of our lives, is an unrealistic goal. This is not to deny moments of perfection exist, but rather if our rule is “I must be perfect to be happy” we are guaranteeing our own unhappiness. Humans get things wrong, we mess up, we make mistakes. Nobody looks amazing all of the time. The aim is to learn from our mistakes and accept ourselves as we are.
Mary suffers from migraines. She came to me to work on other issues related to social anxiety, family relationships and career. Often, during our early sessions, talking about an upsetting event from the past would trigger the early warning signs of one of Mary’s migraines. By aiming EFT at the early physical warning symptoms the migraine would subside and disappear completely. As we worked through her emotional issues the frequency of Mary’s migraines reduced considerably. She was able to learn to use EFT to manage her condition.
Feeling Old Before My Time
Arnold has serious concerns about his health. He feels frail and worries a lot about aches and pains. He’s a young man in his early thirties, but feels like he is ageing too quickly. As we work together Arnold begins to connect his worry inducing self talk, with an overly protective parenting approach from his primary care giver. Arnold was raised by one of his grandparents. As he begins to unravel the complexities of their relationship he begins to see himself differently. He takes up Tai Chi and running. He feels more robust and confident in his body’s capability to heal.
Stuck in Debt
Fraser is an entrepreneur. His online retail business was badly affected by an economic downturn and he sold the business, leaving himself with personal debt. He’s building a new business with his life partner but feels stuck and frustrated with their progress. As we talk, it becomes clear to Fraser that he cannot see himself free of debt. As we investigate further Fraser discovers emotional attitudes towards money and wealth which clearly contradict each other. On the one hand he wants to make a success of his new business, on the other he recognises negative associations with having money and worries what his friends and family will think of him if he becomes successful. Will they be jealous? Will they think he’s greedy? Is it unspiritual to be financially successful? We use EFT to work on the negative emotions associated in Fraser’s mind with financial and business success. He feels more optimistic about his project and finds a fresh new source of energy to take himself forward.
As you can see from this cross section of cases, the types of issue EFT & Life Coaching principles are effective for are extremely varied. What they all have in common however, and the reason EFT works for them all, is that behind each difficulty we discover emotional causes. The emotion might show up as a physical symptom, a an anxiety or even a belief. In each case the skillful use of EFT helps the client to find resolution, self acceptance and to move on with their lives. What usually happens is that as the emotional context of a problem is effectively dealt with with EFT, the decisions and action steps towards the client’s goals follow on quite naturally and it’s much easier to take consistent and effective action.